ending my song 
for a last time
in a silence
and a written song
paper pieces flying through
to speak to you
my heart’s notes
in words scribbled
in deep thoughts
with emotions brimming
and tears flowing
i am leaving now
this time its my last
we shall meet someday
in another time
where i will sing you
a better song, perhaps
but thanks my dear
for all the love
and i know you care
just as much
but i cannot speak any more
my heart’s full already
with a year full of memories
and this beautiful exchange
of poetic love… 

what i really miss
are flights in balloons
race upon hot sand
diving into the sea waves
and eating ice-creams all day
and still have a lot more to do
the next day
and live that way
again and always… 

how often do we 
save time
for memories
for the most beautiful things
we saw
we felt
we did
we experienced
we saw or we believed in?

even as i write this
i have never tried 
to take time
for cherishing 
most loved moments
of my life
my past
a time when i was
more free
more loved
a time when
i had a chance
to feel life 
with an open heart. 

i ring the bell
the sound of my mind
i touch the earth
with bare hands
unafraid of
the dirt and the wetness
i love them now
for once i want to be
free to feel the world around
and walk away
without weird things
to think about
i want to be close
to nature’s gifts
and free myself of
everything manmade and virtual… 

dear night
you are not cold this time
you are not too humid as well
you are just windy that’s all
and you are making the whole world
speak to me in
whispers of the hissing trees
as my thoughts are all
trapped into you for once
and you have sucked me off
all the worries i usually have
so
thank you, dear night
you are an amazing experience
a gift of time
for a poetess like me… 

sometimes
i believe i must take a step at a time
just one step of attempt
toward change
toward a new life
and maybe eventually
despite the discomfort
things will start to fall in place
together in perfect tandem
in the right order
as it must be
and life might again seem
livable and bearable
to a certain extent… 

i was always this girl
loving the weather
every season was a bliss to me
a shade o change
a bunch of colors
and joys with family
and there is so much i miss now
yet there is so much i am
grateful for
i cannot thank enough
if i had to… 

i am not scared
of the nights
rather
i am scared
of the night in me
so dark
than all that outside my skin
i can sense a depth in me
i cannot explain
and that is what
scares me most
to touch the veil
that separates me
safely from
the other side… 

i will never be lost
till i have you
to return back to…

i know we had
a huge river of complaints
separating us so
yet i know you will
forgive me too…

sometimes life gives us
another chance
rarely but it does
and this is ours to take…

making the best of us
the beauty of this relationship
let it flourish better this time
forever to come… 

i made you a habit thus
and i am alone now
without a heart i feel
like i am not breathing any more
and it is painful to see myself
so filled with silence
for i can no more listen to
my own words
even as i scream to the mighty wind
scream so loud that would
make a world go deaf
and yet i can hear not the
sound of life in me
i am lost
undefined
and dead without
your heart
to beat beside me.

words,
love and
thoughts
to share
to care
to show i mean
what i say
and to touch your heart
and change its color
forever…

a few words
spoken
as you look into
my lost eyes
just a few
and i would know
that it means
everything
in my world
and to hear you say
what you really feel like
i can wait
years and years
until i die
and after that too…

my disease is life
my end is in the poems i write
and the night is
a door to dreams that i see
with open eyes
and a silent heart
watching all the magic like
a spectator in the stands
just gazing at all the theory
all the practicality
fade like candle smoke
in the presence of this light
withering like nothings
and i laugh at how
the world is sleeping
as i uncover the secrets
of a universe waiting
to be found. 

and the whole world
may see it differently
yet i see it as it is
really and truly
i can see you
in the light of this night
in the darkness
i can sense the warmth
of that tear falling from your eyes
like rain separated from
her motherly sky
her origin
i can sense how you feel
like a falling feather
helpless in the situation
yearning for a land to fall upon
looking beneath you
the endless earth
staring back from the distance
and you don’t really know
where you will land next
in a heart
or upon a stone, hard
and the fear thus
consumes you so
sucking the life out of you
all your joys and smiles die
to the endless lands of pain
waiting
i know, i feel it deep inside me
and i will be there to hold you
for believe me dear
you shall land nowhere else
but in my lonely heart
i fell this way before
and i know the pain
but i will not let that
happen to you
not again. 

i am stolen
someone altered
my inner mechanisms
and now i see life
differently…